Fear.

I have always had a feeling. A feeling of being afraid, of so many things. So many that I’m even afraid to put my thoughts about it into words. Because, just the thought of it makes me shake like a leaf. I’m so much horror-strucked about these fears and I don’t even want to talk about them. Makes me uneasy frantically my heart is about to fail out. You see, I’m about to frit open and cry like a baby, but I’m afraid I’ll have to explain about why and I’m hesitant to.  There’s a reason I’m introvert because many things that I feel are not explained into human understandable expressions. I’m afraid of loosing you. I’m afraid that will be the reason I finally will rip open. I’m pusillanimous, nervy and shaky about certain people and relations, since I have not got many. And, I feel so weak and cowering when I have to say this; I’ve been raised and groomed and protected and always felt secured because of you. I might not have the guts to tell you how I love you but there’s no other love like that. And, I believe words are pretty much small and meaningless when I pray about your health, your happiness, contentment, well being and beatitude. Just a little thought of a little ache or cramp to you, makes me scream out into tears.

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